Just for some back story, I've wanted a beard for several years. For reasons that I won't discuss at this time, I cannot have one. But, know this. I would be AWESOME in a beard. Here are some reasons:
Reason #73 - I look silly with just a mustache: And all racism aside, if you're not a Black guy, you look silly, too. Now take this from a Black guy. We look cool in mustaches. Well, all of us besides me. For some reason, perhaps my lack of "visual" ruggedness**, I look silly with just a mustache. But, add a beard/goatee to that equation?! Pure sickness of the dope kind!
Reason #74 - Now, if it wasn't for those pesky Hipsters messing this all up, only cool guys wore beards. For the record, I'm not talking about those stupid (*cough*Hipster*coughcough*) bushy, backwood Oakie beards, I'm talking about a nice, trimmed and neat beard. Mysterious guys made beards cool. And a heavy 5 o'clock shadow just looks rugged! And dude... sheiks wear beards. And they're rich and dress cool in the heat! What's cooler than that?! Plus they gave us Shemagh scarves! They were cool! (again, before Hipsters ruined them. Arg! Touche Hipsters!)
Reason #75 - This is the reason that spawned this post. I recently discovered that I have six (count 'em, SIX!) gray hairs in my beard. THIS IS PERFECT! The "salt and pepper" look has always been considered attractive on guys. And for me - a dude who's always looked 10 years younger than I was - it's perfect. I hate looking younger than I am. Granted, it's a blessing and it's helped me at times, but I'm about ready to look my age. This would be the perfect scenario! I only have 2 gray hairs in my head which are even visible. Having a trimmed lined up beard (not the chin strap sort... that's played out) or a almost Eric Dolphy looking goatee with some peppered gray up in there!? That's the perfect look to balance out my juvenile looking face! Finally! Having the best of both worlds!
But alas. Like I said, I cannot have a beard at this time. But a boy can dream can't he? (or just "photoshop" a cool looking beard into his profile pics....)
*-Reasons 1-72 will be posted at some future date. (...don'tholdyourbreath)
**-(inside, I'm as rugged as they come, son! What!?)
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